No Counting ...

No it is not about inventory, but rather potentially some sage advice to guide you about relationships. Change is definitely happening everywhere as the economy struggles and sputters along. With change comes new definitions in roles, responsibilities and accountability.


Many years ago while attending a sermon our priest commented that a secret to maintaining a good relationship is to instill the “no counting” rule. He expanded that in many relationships couples will exert a considerable amount of energy counting … “I made the bed yesterday so it is your turn today” or “ I cooked dinner so it is your turn to do the dishes”.



While many businesses are restructuring to survive, tasks and assignments are being changed at an alarming rate. Employees are being asked to step up and assume more tasks, assignments in many cases without a change in compensation. It is important to remember the traditional rules of yesterday exist no longer … a new landscape is being created. It becomes easy to begin counting as you start to compare your work load to others within your organization. What is important that the organization bond as a team and work together on agreed priorities to insure success.


Taking on new assignments or expanding your scope can be exciting as you get to learn new skills and become more engaged in the success of your organization. Of course, you should never take on assignments or adopt change that is unethical or could jeopardize your Health & Safety.


Of course, applying the ‘No Counting” rule in your personal relationship will be a significant contributor to harmony in your relationship. It is amazing how many times we mention to each other “you’ re counting” and the game stops instantly. This is why I am sharing this simple rule with you this week because last night I was caught counting …


Another thought to remember is that Anger is the Highest state of Commitment. Many years ago a colleague and I were discussing management traits. He observed that he could survive a day at work without getting angry. He was constantly managing conflicts finding compromises and solutions but he then observed that once he got home it seemed that within seconds his children could escalate his mental state into anger mode.


Later both of us attended a leadership training course. During one of the sessions, our instructor made us aware of how anger is the highest state of commitment. If we don’t care about something or someone we show no emotion versus if we are emotionally attached it becomes almost a natural state to express our emotions through anger when we get upset

about change.


So look at your angry employees as also potentially your Committed employees.



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